Wednesday, April 14, 2010

My Baby

It's only 6 weeks old
It's due date is dec. 6th!
Sunday, April 11, 2010

Okay Here We Go Again!

OKay I broke up with Thomas!
I do love him, really I do....I'm just still in love with Ben!
One night when Ben was staying the night at Thomas with me there also,
Ben and Thomas were drinking and so they got drunk.
Thomas was really being immature.
he beat up a bum for no reason
punched holes in his walls
was being rude and mean to Ben and me.
and was saying that he was going to kill myself and alot of crazy stuff!

I do love him but I dont want to and cant be with someone who drinks
and smokes weed as much as he does.

And so while Thomas was doing whatever
Ben was there for me when I would cry and feel like shit!
and he was drunk, but he's a nice drunk!

Well when Bens drunk he has a lot of courage.
So he kissed me!!!

When he kissed me I got all tingly and I fell back in love with him!
the way I felt when he kissed me was indescribable!

I want to be with Ben so bably!
its all that I want but yes, he still loves Savannah too!
And just like last time he loves her more than me!
even though I treat him better, and we would be totally AWESOME together.
But I just Ill just have to wait for that day to come
when he see's just what I'm talking about!

I feel really bad for breaking up with Thomas but I follow my heart 
and my heart tells me that I'm meant to be with Ben!

I'm really really really sorry to Thomas for doing this to him
but I tried to make it work I really did it was just too hard for me to do!

I know Thomas says that he loves me and everything but we've only known eachother for like a month and a half and he doesn't even know everything about me , so how can he really love me...I think it might just be a lot of lust that he's feeling, not love!!!

Okay so I'm really sorry to Thomas, and I'm back on the Ben roller coaster!

great! =/
Tuesday, April 6, 2010

My Life Right Now!

My lifes pretty good right now...
I'm friends with Ben and Sam again..
okay I'm more friends with Ben though, he's like one of my best friends he knows so much about me even though he hurt me ALOT I still care for him
(in a friend way)
Me and Sam are trying to be friends for Thomas my WONDERFUL FIANCEE!
Sam is  like Thomas's brother there BFF's so we're trying to be friends.

I've also been trying to get a job, my life's going to be changing very much in the next couple of months!
I'm going to need to get a job so that I can get a car and so that me and Thomas can get an apartment together.

I have something really big coming soon, I'll say stuff about it on Monday the 18th of April!

Wednesday, March 31, 2010


I'm so happy!

My life has been so WONDERFUl
ever since I met my AWESOME boyfriend
soon to be husband Thomas!

He's so perfect and sweet and nice and the way he treats me is the most freakin wonderful thing EVER!


I'm so happy I met him, I've never been happier!


Tuesday, March 9, 2010

My Wonderful Boyfriend!

Thomas Brown is his name.
He's 17, his birth day is December 26th.
I'm a little bit older than him but that's okiee lol... 
His favorite color is green
He has 2 brothers,1 sister, and a mom...WOW his family is WAY smaller than mine!

Thomas and I started dating on February 26, 2010
We've been dating for 12 days now.
I really do like him ALOT!
he's soooooo sweet and nice to me.
I've NEVER dated a guy like him.
I didn't think I would EVER find a guy like him, but I'm pretty sure I just did.

I actually met Thomas on December 26, 2009 
I met him at Ben and Sam's...
So yeah he is friends with them.
But really that doesn't bother me at all!
I didn't talk to him after that day.
but then we met each other again on myyearbook
 I think that even if I didn't meet Thomas through Ben and Sam 
that I would have met him anyways.
It feels like destany!

Thomas told me that he LOVES me!
OMFG, really?
I LOVE him too!
I didn't think that I could fall in love again, but hey I did!

He also told me that he wants to be with me FOREVER and we already
talk about marrying each other and having kids together!
I really do want to have a kid with him, that would be freakin fantastic!
We also want to live together when I turn 18...

He  really is an AWESOME boyfriend.
and I can't believe that I found him.
 He's the greatest boyfriend I've EVER had, and I know that for  a fact!
He's really the sweetest guy EVER, well to me at least lol.

Me and My Baby

He's so freakin adorable!

Wednesday, March 3, 2010


Okiee I'm over the whole Ben thing.
Yes, I'm still his friend 
but the feeling of wanting to be with him is gone.

I've moved on and I'm happy again.
usually this feeling of being happy goes away right about now.
I'm hoping it doesn't though!
I really want to enjoy life and live it.


Sunday, February 28, 2010


Okiee I'm still IN LOVE with Ben.
But I know we will NEVER be together.

Is it wrong to at least want him in my life?
I want to be friends with him.
It's true that love for someone does fade away.
My love for Ben has faded away a little but it's still there.
I don't know how I'm only going to be friends with him, but I know that's all we can be!
To think about it hurts and still makes me cry.
That's why I ignore it!
I ignore how I truly feel.
I know no matter how much I wish for it to be different it won't be.
When ever I hear a song about how I felt when I was with him or whenever I think of him I cry!
I truly WISH with all my heart that we could be together and that it was different but it's NOT!
And that hurts!
I'm still IN LOVE with him.
I wish I could make it go away.
Because it really hurts to love someone and not be able to be with them.
 And the worst part about all of this
Is that the way I feel for Ben and how much I LOVE him, is the exact same way he feels about Savannah!
I WISH he felt that way about me but he doesn't!
 I've tried to be with other guys and I've been in a relationship
But I couldn't stop thinking about Ben...
I just WISH with ALL my HEART 
that he felt the way I feel for him. 
But he doesn't!
That's the other sucky part about all of this.
Wishing doesn't change anything
Wishing doesn't change anyone.
Saturday, February 27, 2010



Tuesday, February 23, 2010


My friend Kayluhh came across this french song and this video of french people dancing and to tell you the truth I absolutely LOVE it!


Okiee I found this poem online and I thought it was very beautiful so I thought I would post it along with a picture i took!

Sunset Lover

Your love is like a sunset, wild, bright and true. The colours blend together, forming a magical hue. The day's warm caress is slipping through the air, just as though your fingers would be slipping through my hair. I sit and watch the sunset, knowing it soon will end, thinking of you and waiting 'til we will be together again. Slowly now it's going, coming to a end. Darkness may be closing in, but the fun has just begun. For now I can go home, go to my darkened room, lie on the bed and close my eyes, fall asleep and dream of you=

About Me

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Shellbee Renee
I'm 17, I love to hangout with my best friend kayluhh! I LUFF YOU KAYLUHH! My life isn't always fun and enjoyable but it's life, I like to hangout and be with my friends it's when I'm the happiest! My love life isn't too great either, I've been in love once and it didn't work out, lol but strangely I'm okay with the out come...I never know what's going to happen or who's going to come along, I'm the kind of person who go's with the flow, I don't like making decisions...So if you ask me to you probably won't get an answer back! hehe I love to make people happy, and I'm fun to be could say I'm the life of the party lol...=P
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